TO HURT AND BE HURT

Photo courtesy of ricanasianprincess at Photobucket

These two things take place when two sides lack care and understanding.

TO HURT.
Do you often hurt people unintentionally?

One sentence, one decision, one facial expression, one unfriendly tone of voice can do enough damage. Sometimes, someone tries to cheer you up with silly jokes but you brush them off because you're just not in the mood.

Sometimes, you make a risky decision. A decision to align yourself with your dreams or principles you believe in. You find it alright to put everything in line. You believe it'll be a fruitful effort. Along the way, you forget that there are people out there who worry about you. When you get hurt, your pain is theirs too.

Sometimes in a heat of emotions, you say the first thing that comes to mind without considering the consequences. Taking the time to choose the best words could even enlighten your listener. But an ugly truth only sparks pain and tears.

Sometimes you think it's funny to call people names, make up stories and spread it to the whole world. You do it because it's entertainment. You never think of the psychological damage behind you actions.

Have these situations occurred in your life? Don't deny it; it'll be a big lie. I know because I'm human just like you. If you acknowledge it and feel guilty, I'm grateful for you. If not, you better start observing how your behaviour affects others.

BE HURT.

"What did I ever do to you?"

I'm sure that's the first question to cross everyone's mind when someone is being mean to them. Here are some hurtful situations we probably come across at some times of our life.


1. Someone who barely knows you writes you off with an unfair conclusion.
Having done that, their way of interacting with you is based on that conclusion. Annoying, isn't it?

2. Someone treats you like a fool and never takes you seriously.
Whatever you do or say is just a joke. The harder you try, the more they laugh at you. If you ever achieve success, it will surprise them. Or, you work hard to gain acknowledgement but things don't turn out as planned.

3. Someone touches a sensitive subject.
We all have issues we rather not talk about. It could be a skeleton in the closet, an embarrassing moment, our biggest regrets, weakness etc. Sensitive issues are private but it's still okay to talk about it as long as we use proper methods of approach. A heart to heart discussion with your close ones should be fine but a jest or sarcasm may result in unpleasant outcomes.

ENDING THE HURT CYCLE.
It is never too late to end this hurt cycle. Regardless of which side you're on, you must do your part.

Whenever you feel an itch to make a snide remark, refrain from doing so with self-control. Then, think rationally. Ask yourself what prompted the desire to spit out those venomous words. Once you know the reason, consider if it really is a necessity to react in a negative manner.

The key to this is to always picture yourself in others' shoes. The next will be fairness. Whether it's family, strangers, friends or foes, treat everyone equally.

And if you've been playing the victim role, suffer in silence no more. Speak out and let yourself be heard. Make others realise you have feelings too. Humans hurt one another because they tend to forget beneath those layers of characters, everyone is still the same.

Do you realise by speaking out, you are defending yourself and doing a good deed for others as well? Every time you let someone know the effect of their actions, you also correct their mistakes.

Whether you've hurt, been hurt or both, you have the power to change this. Self reflect today and know your flaws. As quoted by Aldous Huxley, "There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving and that's your own self."

Mistakes like these are bound to repeat so take action and prevent it. Even if you can't end it, lessening it also makes a lot of difference. I've read a chapter about mistakes in a self-help book not too long ago and I love the author's view on this topic. We often associate mistakes with our flaws. Thus, that results in low self esteem and this belief of not being able to change for the better.This author pointed it out in a simple way; we make mistakes but each of us is not a mistake. Hold on to this truth and it will give you the will power to correct yourself.


You have it in your power to make your days on Earth a path of flowers, instead of a path of thorns. -Sri Sathya Sai Baba

Pen

2nd September 2010